HI!!! You’re back! That’s awesome. Don’t worry about your hardcore “I am the master of EVERYTHING” friends or your “I really just need to be told what to do” friends who didn’t make it to round two (this post). If they are happy where they’re at, that’s super cool! If you haven’t found that place of happiness with where you are… let’s keep going.
We need simple guidelines, a little knowledge and a “gosh darn it, I like myself” attitude.
I am going to break these down for you, in order of importance.
“Gosh darn it, I like myself!”
Maybe you don’t. Sometimes, when I really listen.. I hear me telling myself bad things about me. How can a person manage to talk bad about themselves behind their back?! IDK, but it happens. THIS. THIS you is your first thing to address.
No. We are not going to meditate, chant mantras or look in the mirror repeating phrases someone (maybe us) made up that are supposed to convince us of shit we don’t actually believe to be true.
DISCLAIMER: If you have a history of abuse -mental, physical, emotional (they are interconnected – idk why we have to break them up like that.) professional counseling by someone you jive with is a great thing. Try out counselors, fire them when they are not smarter than you, or if they shame you or you sense BS. I have done 10 yrs of counseling and not everyone is good at their job. Some are and some of them will be cool to work with. Do THAT. Unresolved issues will help you sabotage your goals every time. My counseling was just about helping me figure out how to move forward – not trying to change the past. (Cause that ain’t happening!)
If you’ve got a decent handle on the shit that keeps you from success, or are in therapy, dealing….then we can move forward.
Key point: your mental health and how you perceive your likelihood of success is more important than achieving immediate physical goals. (Or to put it another way…. these things have power to hold you back-don’t let them.)
So let’s talk about how to manage the daily dippies of eating, tracking and training.
- Start by choosing an app you like (Fitbit, MFP, Spark, IIFYM calculator, a notebook and a pencil) something that kinda makes sense and you can figure out how to navigate it. It’s LESS important that your friends are on it. Why the hell do you care what works for THEM? They are not you, with your stressors, demons, loves and hates. You need something that you feel you can get the hang of relatively easily. OR: If competing with your friends is really what motivates you – have them teach you how to use THAT app. Make it work for YOU.
- Track. Try to input your stuff as closely as you are capable WITHOUT STRESS. If you miss a day, fuck it, or enter as best as you can the next day. You will not gain 50lbs or shrivel up and die. You will not lose valuable data containing the secret key to perfect weight loss. Just start again tomorrow.
- Review your daily information THE NEXT DAY. What are you gonna do if it’s 9pm and you are missing 900 kc? …yes, that has happened to me. Or you see you are over by 900kc? You may binge eat or lose healthy guilt-free sleep – good sleep helps your mind and body restore. Now you have double trouble. It is what it is – an indicator. A little clue as to how you might want to make different decisions the NEXT day. Start your day with that, while enjoying a healthy breakfast. What if you are in a hurry to get to work. Just get to work, you can check your progress when you can sit and contemplate. (Some of you may be really helped by seeing where you are throughout the day. #3 is not for you, then. These are not rules, but suggestions to help those of us not wired that way to get started.)
- If your eating goals stress you out, find different goals. You will not have long term health success when trying to make changes under duress. We fail far too often because we are trying to be something we are not, or do something that causes us to feel stressed. For example: BFF Barb has decided to go Paleo – or carb free, but you sink to the depths of depression on a no carb diet. OR deciding to fix poor self worth by changing our eating habits or the way our bodies look. *See disclaimer aboce. I can’t handle tediousity. I have a friend who THRIVES in the tedious details. What is tedious for you, may not be for me. Cool. Do you. Ask for help.
The goal is sustainably get yourself to a weight and fitness ‘level’ that is good for you and your life. if you can’t even get there because your bullshit-ometor (see post 1) is going off, or your “See this is why I should hate myself” recording is triggered – you better reset, re-evaluate, and create a new way of thinking. We are moving towards building great habits. More about the habits tomorrow!